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Dark, dark times call for DAD JOKES!

12 Jan 2020

The Shameless Not Blameless Tour

Here comes Sooty & The Coalface Crew

Their thoughts and prayers and a handshake for you,

A promise of money and their hope you’ll renew.

They’re visiting disasters for the evening news

Where drought is a nightmare, the fires are worse.

Is there more could be done? His answer’s perverse:

Our responses will be practical, like how shall we live

With disasters unavoidable, there’s nothing to forgive.

Be reassured that there’s nothing we can do

To save you from a future a lot like the news:

Shameless, not Blameless.


5 Jan 2020   Questions without Notice to the PM:

Here are some angry jokes I made up. Laughter is not guaranteed. 🙂

Q: What is your response to the air quality issues in NSW?

A: How good are the sunsets!

Q: Do you consider the current evacuation centres to be sufficient for the needs of the communities?

A: How good are beaches!

Q: What do you have to say to the rising tide of post-traumatic mental health issues that some experts predict following this fire season?

A: How good are holidays!

Q: What’s your comment on the timing of the NSW Emergency Services Minister’s holiday?

A: How good are holidays in times of crisis.

Q: What’s your comment on the timing of your holiday to Hawaii?

A: I am sorry my absence caused some people anxiety.

January is chockers with overseas trips and appointments for me, and I had promised my two young children a holiday this summer. My kids come first in my life. Equal first, with God of course, and the Australian people. That’s a three-way tie for first place. How good are ties!

So, we went on a little secret trip overseas. The Facebook posts of me drinking with a couple of fans sort of cruelled the secrecy, and I regret any offence caused to anyone by my shirt, but it was in Hawaii after all. My girls rolled their eyes, but a daggy-dad has to do what has to be done.

Q: Do you think the emergency services are sufficiently resourced for the intensity of the current situation?

A: How good are volunteers!

Q: Do you have a message for the volunteers?

A: How good is the community spirit!

Q: What about the thousands sheltering on beaches from encircling fires, or tensely enduring amazing lines of crawling traffic under smoke-laden skies, hoping they will escape the danger before the road is cut again and they have to improvise shelter in an unfamiliar landscape?

A: How good are holidays, even when they are cut short! I know what it is like. I understand. Seriously I do. It’s awful. But remember, there is always a silver lining – think of all the new relationships & adventures. We Aussies have had our holidays disrupted before and we’ll make it through this one because we are amazing people.